Friday, June 8, 2012

For the last couple of days I have been an absolute ball of crazy. One minute I am perfectly sane, and the next second I'm flying off the handle into anger land or sadness city. I've gotten depressed for no reason and lashed out at people because of the way I feel. It's like I get caught up into this little whirlwind of emotion and depression that I can't get out of even though I try.

I talked about it with my mom, and she says that it may be hard for me for a while because I'm going through a transition period, and she's probably right. I always seem to have problems when I start anything new or something like that. Next thing you know I'm on my bed crying or something of the sort. Goodness knows I always try to fight it, but sometimes I just get overwhelmed.

Finally, last night I was able to pull myself out of the spiral. Partly it was because I watched The Bloggess' video about how depression lies, and the other part was that my friends wanted to do mad libs. I know that probably seems a little silly, but it's true. Once we started doing those, it was like I was back in a place where I felt safe and where I had people surrounding me that would kick anything's ass that messed with me.

Before I knew it, I was laughing and acting like my regular self again. Sometimes I have snaps that last a long time and other times they are short. Regardless, I hate every snap I have because it is not something that is fun or easy for me and people around me to deal with it. The good thing is that I know it isn't forever even if it may feel like it.

I'm considering making a love book where I put reminders to myself about who loves me and what I love...just things to make me feel good.

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